Bumble B's Life Thus Far & Our Prayer Requests

I hope you enjoyed the arrival story. I really haven't even read it yet because I've been so tired and busy!

Things are going well with little Bumble B. He was measured and weighed last night and unfortunately it looks like they mismeasured his length at birth. He is 17 inches long instead of 18 1/2. Not that anything is wrong with that, I just wish it had been accurate from the start. He weighed 4lbs, 5oz! He has only lost 5 ounces! I think that's fabulous.

The first couple of days in the Level 2 nursery he was on IV fluids and not eating yet. He's now eating, and eating more than any of them can keep up with! He was at 12 ccs every 5 hours and 2 hours after one feeding he was begging for more and downed 19ccs! He is now on over an ounce every 3 hours! Which means he's pooping A LOT which is GREAT because it shows he's handling the milk fine and he has high bilirubin, so the more he poops the faster it'll get out of his system.

2 days ago his bilirubin was 8, yesterday it was 10, and today it is 15. So he's under a light and top of a blanket. I KNEW this would happen. It's SO common in even term babies, not even mentioning preemies. But of course when I saw him in the isolette with the lights and his little glasses I was so sad. I can't hold him today because he needs to be under the light, which is absolutely understandable. I did get to feed him. He was so so cute. He's had those glasses on his poor little eyes all day so when he got out he was looking around all over the place and SMILING so much. I don't think it's gas. I think it's real smiles :)

Right now we are so happy he's breathing fine on his own, he doesn't need any oxygen or IV fluids. Now we are just battling the jaundice and his temperature maintaining. He's staying in the high 97s, and we want him to keep his temp at 98.6. So that is the current prayers I'm BEGGING for. My little skinny man to keep his temps up and get this icky bilirubin OUT!

Also, if you have some spare prayers, please say a little one for me (and may be poor Christopher who is having to deal with me!). I am so incredibly blessed and thrilled to have my little man thriving in the nursery, but sometimes I have a really really rough time leaving him down there. If he's crying I can't leave him and sometimes when I leave him because he looks so happy I get upset as well. It's not natural to leave my baby anywhere. It's the most awful feeling I've ever had in my life. Plus the post-pregnancy hormones aren't helping a bit. I just need a little extra strength and peace in knowing that I am doing the right thing. Thankfully I am still in a courtesy room at the hospital, but as soon as they need the room, we will be kicked out. And if I have a hard time leaving him in the nursery to walk down the hall, can you imagine how hard it will be to pull away from this hospital? I'm not sure how NICU mommies do this for months, and I don't even want to imagine it.

Bumble B's Arrival Part One

It's 6:53 pm. I opened this page to write this post at 8:53 am. That's how it's been! And now it's 7:49....

Anyways! I think where I left off I was waiting for midnight Thursday for the fFN and cervical check. No changes, negative fFn! But then I was given terbutaline and it made me so so sick. I finally got to sleep around 4, and around 7 or 8 the doctor came in. She said my contractions were lasting for 3 minutes and the baby's heartbeat was decreasing every time.

She suggested a c section that morning. She asked me what I thought and I had no idea. I looked at my mom and said "What do I think?!" The doctor then said she wasn't really giving me a choice. So I said okey dokey! I wanted to do what was best obviously, but it was such a huge shock. Then I immediately started crying and crying because I knew he was going to be early. I knew he'd be fine but he might have to go downtown to the NICU, or even just be in the Level 2 nursery in this hospital for weeks. I knew I wouldn't get to hold him for a while and I became hysterical.

Then it all started. Cathetor in, anesthesiologist in, paperwork signed, kisses and hugs given, and escorted into the OR. Not only was I not ready to have a baby yet, I was about to have a C Section. A needle in my back and major surgery. The cathetor hurt so so so bad. I got my pidural which wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I couldn't imagine getting it during labor and contractions though! They laid me down, did more stuff, and then I couldn't feel anything. I was so stressed and a bit panicky.

It was the most surreal experience I have ever been through. It was so so weird. I could feel them touching me and moving stuff, I just couldn't hear pain. Christopher was there and I think he was as shocked and as taken aback as I. Then they were talking about the baby. He was really really low, and I told them that I wish I had a dollar for every time someone told me that. Normally during a Csection they have to push the baby down and out. They had a hard time reaching in and getting him UP. He was engaged in my pelvis. They finally got him up and pushed him down and out. Then all I heard was crying. He started screeching the second he came out.

I have never in my life heard something so beautiful in my entire life. My little tiny 34 weeker was screaming immediately after being born. They lowered the sheet for me and I saw him. He was crying and purple, and that's all I remember from that. I was of course bawling crying. It was one of the happiest moments of my life.

After a minute they took Christopher over to the table where they were cleaning him up and he stood with them for a long time and saw the baby. Then I started to have my own little panic attack. C Section is scry, especially when you are totally taken by surprise and haven't had a chance to totally research and prepare. So if you're preggo, read up on it.

But then! There was the most beautiful face I had ever seen in my life. Pink and fat. Just peeking out of a hat and burrito of a banket. There was my baby. MY BABY. LOOKING at me! I said hello to him and gave him a kiss, and he was whisked away to the nursery.

His stats came back 4lbs, 10ozs, and 18 1/2 inches long. He's absolutely perfect.

Now it is 12:15 am. This post has taken me 16 hours. I will continue tomorrow!

Here is his picture of the day ;)

My New Life

I really want to update! I have TONS of great news on Bumble B's amazing progress and my pumping/breastfeeding venture. BUT I am so tired and I need to sleep! I have become one of those moms. There is nothing in this world I want more than my baby, and not time for anything else either! If you don't understand why, look at this. I mean seriously, who could resist???



I promise bloggy friends, I will definitely update as soon as I get a chance!

He's Here!

My little turkey made his appearance in the world today. He is absolutely PERFECT and I'm SO in love. I will post tomorrow with details, but due to my current energy level (I've fallen asleep 3 times during this so far..., I'll just leave you with a couple pictures!

Spending The Holidays In The Hospital

Here I am... Hooked up to an IV in my hand, fetal and contraction monitors around my belly, and blood pressure cuff. Let's go back...

Yesterday was Christopher's 30th birthday! I wanted to make a super cute post for him yesterday. I had my prenatal appointment. I was 34w5d. At New Moon I think I may have caught a bug and have been feeling under the weather all weekend. It made me feel awful, and the baby was a little quieter. He was still getting in his correct kick counts, and was moving as much as text book says, just felt different. But for once in my life I WASN'T nervous. I was just tired of feeling sick. At the appointment I mentioned all this and she sent me to lunch and told me to come right back for a NST (Non Stress Test). Christopher and I came back where I was taken to literally a closet hehehe with the BIGGEST chair I have ever seen in my life. I was contracting the entire time, like I have been for MONTHS.

I guess seeing these contractions on paper finally opened some eyes. I went straight for an US. He's still really little, now 3lb8oz and less that 10th percentile. But fluid is good and he was moving great. I went to the exam room where my doctor checked my cervix. I wasn't dilated, he was at 0 (zero) station, (+3 is crowning), 50% effaced (that's the thickness. It's obv in half) and was very very soft, which is bad because if it's soft, it's very susceptible to change. So she sent me to Labor & Delivery for some more monitoring and possible steroid shots. The steroid shots mature the baby's lungs. She said I'd be there a couple hours at the most.

That was 5pm last night. My contractions were coming and coming and they checked me and I was dilated a fingertip, or .5-1 cm. I was given procardia. Procardia is originally a cardiac drug, but is used for stopping contractions. It relaxes the soft muscles in the body, so it should relax the uterus. It can also cause low blood pressure which can cause headaches. Before I got pregnant I had constant non stop killer migraines. I haven't had any since I got pregnant and seriously forgot what they felt like. So they gave me some phenergan + nubaine in my IV and a steroid shot in the butt (OWWWW To all of those btw, but I was so toasted by the time she got to my butt I didn't care hahahahaha). Then I passed out.

I was apparently checked again (still the same) and given more procardia. Through the night I still had contractions and this time they were causing little Baby Bumble B's heart to slow. In the 60s... So this morning I talked to the Doctor. She said she wants to get another steroid shot in (they have to be 24 hours apart) and then if he continues to decelerate during contractions, we're possibly talking C-Section. Tomorrow. At 34 weeks.

I've been on procardia all day and it was causing my blood pressure to drop and the baby and I started to feel really really bad. Just getting up to pee was causing me to have contractions and his heart rate to drop. So I was taken off of the procardia and not allowed to get up and use the bathroom (think bedpan!!! AGH Gross). The night nurse is going to let me try getting up so we'll see how that goes.

So there are more details I know I'm leaving out. This has just made me really really tired! Basically I'm here not going home as long as Bumble B is having these low heart rates. The doctors want to wait as long as possible obviously since he's so early to deliver, but if the baby keeps showing distress, they'll take him. I'll know sometime tomorrow what the new game plan is there. As far as the contraction meds... We'll see. If they start coming back frequently and intense like last night I guess they will try something different out. Which I'm kind of scared about because I think procardia was the less of all the evils... At midnight I get my shot. I'm also getting a test that checks for a specific protein that is released from the cervix when the cervix starts to "deteriorate" caled Fetal Fibro-something (too tired to look it up! It's an fFN.) and if it's positive it means I will go into labor within 2 weeks, if negative means I probably won't (well have cervical change labor, my water could still break or something). This way they can make a better game plan on how aggressive they want to be with anti-contraction meds. We haven't been able to do this because I can't have been checked for 24 hours, so I have to wait for midnight tonight. THEN I will be checked to see if there is any change in dilation, effacement, etc. The fFN results will be back in an hour or so and the doctor will talk to us in the morning about the next thing we're going to do...

Sorry if I'm rambling or not making sense. I'm going to try to get a nap in before the midnight festivities!

My eyelids, feet, and hands are so so so swollen from then gallons (it seems) of fluid they've been pumping in all night and day. I can't shower... I'm a mess! LOL. I really wanted to be the pretty labor girl and I'm definitely NOT!!!!

I'll try to update on @BabyBumbleB on Twitter. :)

Wordless Friday

Yeah yeah I know it's supposed to be Wordless WEDNESDAY, but I don't care. It's my blog and I'm pregnant, so I do what I want! ;)

March Of Dimes Fight For Preemies! Guest Blogger Nicole!

November is Prematurity Awareness month, and today is Fight For Preemies day! The March Of Dimes has taken today to reach out to bloggers everywhere to write about preemies to raise awareness for preterm labor!


I know a few special little babies that were born too early. My best friend has a beautiful thriving little girl who just celebrated her 1st birthday. Kenzie was botn at 34 weeks. She stayed in the NICU for a week and was released with a monitor to alert her parents on her apnea. A few months later she was taken off the monitor and is healthy as ever!


Another great friend of mine is a really special friend. People roll their eyes when they hear about couples meeting over the internet, but I will never judge someone for that. I have met some of the most AMAZING people online. Some of these girls I can truely call my best friends even though I have never met them face to face. Nicole is one of these girls that I met through a miscarriage message board through Babycenter almost 2 years ago. Since her early miscarriage, she has been through even greater trials and tribulations. She is now the mother of two. Eli is 3 1/2 months, 1 month adjusted (meaning if born at full term 40 weeks, he would just be a month old now!) and Brie. Nicole just celebrated Brie's first birthday last week, but instead of having a birthday party with family and friends, she and her family made a trip to the cemetary where little Angel Brie is buried. She was born at 26 weeks and her little lungs were not able to support her life. She used this day to celebrate the short, but VERY sweet, time she had with her precious daughter. They had a balloon release, pink and white!

I asked Nicole to guest blog for me because she has been through both traumatic NICU experiences, one that ends happily and one that does not. She knows the fear of both, and she is eager to educate women on their body's and right's and the signs of preterm labor. She is an amazing mom and when little Bumble B makes his way here I hope to be as great of a mother as she!




BRIE

The day my daughter was born was the best day of my life, like a firstborns birthday is for all parents. It was also the most terrifying and devastating day of my life. Why? Because I was only 26 weeks pregnant.

We were literally in the middle of a cross-country move. Halfway between our old home and our new home. I had felt "off" all day, and started having what I thought were gas pains around noon. Eventually I noticed that the pains were consistent - every 5 minutes. We were traveling, so we stopped at the first emergency room we came across. I wasn't in a lot of pain, just a little uncomfortable, so I felt really, really silly going in to an emergency room. I was told I probably wasn't having contractions, because they didn't feel my WHOLE tummy getting hard. The baby was listened to with a doppler - she sounded beautiful. The doctor came in, repeated everything the nurses had done and told me I was having Braxton Hicks contractions due to the long car trip. "Drink more water, get up and walk around every 2-3 hours, and follow up with your OB when you get home" were the orders I was sent away with. I was not checked for cervical dilation. Because this was my first pregnancy, I had no idea that I should have been.

About eight hours later I was trying to sleep in a hotel room. The "Braxton Hicks" were getting worse. I thought "Wow, I must really be a baby if these are Braxton Hicks. I wonder what real labor is like?!" I thought maybe my appendix had burst or something weird like that, so I dragged my husband out of bed and we went to a different hospital. I was taken to triage where I was checked for dilation. I was 8 cm dilated and the baby was at +2 station.

There was no going back. I delivered her, and she let out the most beautiful cry. I was allowed to kiss her on the cheek before she was whisked away to the NICU. Forty-six hours later, we were told that she was suffering from pulmonary hemorrhage due to the immaturity of her lungs. They had done everything they could do, and it wasn't working. We chose to remove her life support and end her suffering. We held her for the first and last time, and she passed away peacefully in her parents arms.

ELI

As a result of my history, we were much better prepared this time around. We took precautions against preterm labor with weekly progesterone shots, and biweekly cervical ultrasounds. I started having what I knew to be Braxton Hicks quite early in the pregnancy, which made me very nervous. I went in to be checked, in tears, more times than I can remember. I always thought I was in labor, or I was leaking fluid or something. All the times that I went in, I was wrong, and everything was fine.

Until I got to 23 weeks. I had just eaten dinner and was having more Braxton Hicks than usual. I decided to go lay down on my left side and drink a bunch of water before calling, because I knew that's what they'd tell me to do anyway. After an hour and a liter of water, I was still having them frequently, so I called my doctor. The doctor on call at L&D said she wasn't worried, but due to my history she wanted me to come get checked so I would be able to sleep that night.

My heart stopped when I was told I was dilated a centimeter and a half. I was admitted to the hospital and put on complete bed rest, continuous monitoring and a cocktail of drugs to prevent labor. The next day an ultrasound of my cervix showed funneling that hadn't been there 2 weeks prior. I only had half a centimeter of cervical length left.I was given steroid shots for the baby's lungs, and it was just a waiting game until my cervix would give out.

I held onto that half centimeter for 6 weeks in the hospital, only allowed in a wheelchair for my weekly appointments with my perinatologist. At 29 weeks I went into labor that was unstoppable with drugs. I delivered a screaming baby boy! He was whisked off to NICU right away, and spent 45 days there. He sailed through, needing little respiratory help. He was basically a feeder/grower the whole time.

We now know that I have incompetent cervix AND preterm labor, and I will probably never carry to term. I may be able to get a few more weeks with the use of a cerclage, but it's my doctor's feeling that the PTL would eventually break through.

As a preemie mom, I've seen so many wonderful people who fight for preemies. From the neonatologists in the NICU, to volunteers for the March of Dimes, people are working every day for these little ones. 23 and 24 weekers are surviving at higher rates than ever. The technology and life saving measures they can take now are astounding.

But the most important thing I feel we can do to fight for preemies is to educate pregnant women. Every week, day, and even every hour in the womb is so crucial. Three weeks and a couple of steroid shots made the difference between a baby who I buried, and a baby who I've had to stop writing this post a billion times for because his lungs are so good he loves to use them :).

So be educated. Go to your doctor when you feel something isn't right. I probably went about 8 extra times during my pregnancy with Eli, each time worried that something wasn't right. I was only correct one out of those eight times, but if I hadn't gone in at all, who knows what would have happened? Trust your gut, and remember, you are the ONLY advocate for the little preemie living inside you. Do everything you can to keep him in there!!

Thanks Nicole!!!! LOVE YOU!!!

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

Even though Bumble B is still in utero, he already has favorite things. He told me so.

Miley Cyrus. No kidding. Christopher and I watched the Hannah Montana movie the other day and he danced every single time she sang! It was so cute! His first crush! My BFF Ashley and I are going to see her in two weeks, so I hope he's excited. Hold on let me ask him... Yep he's excited.

FRIENDS. Probably not too appropriate for a child... Christopher and I don't have cable and watch seasons 1 through 10 over and over and over and over and over... and have been for YEARS. It's weird I know. But when Bumble B is movin and shakin and I pause the TV to try to catch his movements on camera, he stops. Start it back up, he goes again. He gets really excited when we first start to watch every day!

Monsters. Duh.

Strawberry NERDS.


He does NOT like when I poke him and prod him. Here is a video of my self-prescribed day of modified bedrest last week. I wasn't bored or anything. I always draw flowers on my belly (note FRIENDS in the background...) It's kind of hard to see since it's a Blackberry camera. Check the bottom right corner at the beginning and a little later on. His foot sticks out ;)






And he loves me :) And Christopher too I guess...

My Baby Shower!

Yesterday was my baby shower! It went so great! My best friends Megan and Ashley put everything together and had lots of help from Ashley's mom Lynn, my mom, and two other friends Kristy and Sabrina. The women of the church also helped out!

There were almost 40 people there. It was so nice to be surrounded by all my friends, but I really was disappointed I didn't get to spend more time with each person. I feel like I just got to say HEY, BYE! to everyone!

My best friend Emily was also there! She flew in this weekend just for my shower and a friend's of hers wedding shower. When I was opening my presents my mom and mother in law were sitting with me, Emily was writing everything down, and Megan and Ashley helped with the presents. I had the grandmas and my best friends with me the whole time! That was really special!

The theme was a surprise to me, and it was BUMBLE BEE! How funny is that?! Megan thought it all up and it looked so cute! Ashley's mom Lynn made an AMAZING cake. It was a HUGE bee and hive. And oh my goodness it was so yummy. She also made these bumble bee cookies that were to die for. I want a million more. I didn't get to eat much because I was so busy talking to everyone. The food looked soooo good and I didn't get a chance to have half of it. That was a little disappointing, but I do have a few leftovers in the fridge for later!

I got TONS of stuff, and I really don't need to get much more at all! I got the high chair, swing, bouncy seat thingy, stroller... All I need to get is my pack and play with my gift cards and finish up getting the monster stuff for his nursery! Plus some bottles (just in case) and little things like PANTS. This kid has no pants! I felt kinda funny sitting there and everyone watching me open presents!

As soon as we got home I made Christopher put together the swing and the stroller. I need to take some pictures as soon as I find my camera charger! I will also post some pictures of the shower as soon as my mom and Emily post them on Facebook. I can't WAIT to see them!

Thanks to all my family and friends. This baby is so so so loved and I am so thankful to be his mother! I can't wait to meet him and spoil him with all your goodies!

Also, please continue voting! We droped from like #10 to the second page! Bumble B and I are very sad... ;)

My Rock

As I touched on a tiny bit in the last post, I am a bit of a FREAK OUT.

I tend to FREAK OUT. A lot.

Thankfully, I have a husband who really never freaks out.

Christopher usually comes with me to doctor's appointments and always comes with me to my ultrasounds. He's been really really busy with work lately which has him putting in 15 hour days. So sometimes I don't get to see him as muchas I'd love, and this week he couldn't make my appointments.

As I was sitting in the waiting room waiting for my US results, I was almost in tears. I was absolutely certain something was wrong. I've had such a hard time dealing with my two miscarriages and it's hard to imagine this baby working out sometimes. So I got a glimpse of the possibility that something could have been wrong with my baby Bumble B and I was a WRECK.

I texted Christopher a couple times while I was waiting. He was busy and couldn't really talk. Once I was out of that office with good news and fresh air I had a small texty-chat with my husband. I told him "I don't care if you get FIRED! You are going with me to things like this. You CANNOT miss these things. I can not deal without you." (which in turn I received a smiley. I boasted him up for a little bit I guess).

If Christopher had been there I would have been much calmer, or at least had someone to talk to so my mind wouldn't wander.

A few weeks ago I had a chicken caesar wrap from Chic-Fil-A. I won't go into the gruesome details, but the lunch did not end well for me or my car. As I drove home to clean up I called Christopher twice. He didn't answer so I texted him and said "Call me". He responds with "I'm in a meeting" and I write back "PLEASE". By the time I see he's calling I start bawling. He sounds so concerned and asks what's wrong. When I responded tearfully and hysterically with "I threw up everywhere all over myself" I am really expecting a "Babe seriously? I'm sorry, but I'm busy, it's okay."

Instead he is so so concerned and tells me how sorry he is and talks to me half way home. He asked if I needed him to come home and truly felt bad. Then my hormones took over and I started crying about how stressed I was and how tired I was of him working all the time and how much I missed him and it went on from there. When I decided I was halfway okay I told him bye. He said he'd keep talking to me if I needed him to. So I did.

He's a good husband. Even when I want to strangle him or press his hidden mute and pause button (I have yet to find that thing!) he's at least being sweet.

My Little Halloween Scare

At my 28 week appointment I was measuring only 26 weeks. Every visit now the doctor takes her measuring tape and starts at the bottom of my uterus and goes to the top. The belly is supposed to be in a certain range I suppose. She assured me that it was because I am long waisted and I just have a lot of room as to why we were measuring behind.

Thursday was my 30 week appointment and I measured 3 weeks behind. She decided to do an ultrasound to make sure my little Bumble B was growing like he is supposed to.

So Friday morning I went in bright and early. The tech said that Bumble B is lower than any baby she has seen in years and years. I thanked her because it's so frustrating to me that I feel him down there and no one believes me. People say "just wait til you drop". Well he already is dropped. He has no where else to go but OUT! We looked at his cuteness for a little bit and then she began her measurements. She said he is little at 2 pounds 11 ounces. I still don't know if this is little as in littler than a normal 30 weeker or little like 2 pounds is a little person. Then she made me wait for the Doctor.

I was planning on insisting on waiting to hear what she thought, but I don't thing I've been MADE to wait before. So what do I do? Oh yeah, you know it. Freak out. She checks on me once and says the doctor still wasn't there, but I had to wait because she HAD to show her the pictures.

Does that sound GOOD to anyone?

So I'm almost in tears in the waiting room all alone because now I am just wondering what is wrong with my baby, why is he little, what is going to happen.

Finally she comes out and says "okay everything looks good! She's happy, you can go!"


So yaaay Bumble B is fine. He's just curled up in a tiny ball as low as he can possibly get. Which equals no belly for me, because he's in my pelvis! I'm so sick and tired of people telling me I'm not eating enough and that I need to get bigger because I'm hurting the baby. I mean, they are straight out saying I'm a bad mom! I eat better than I ever have in my life. Unless you are with me 24/7, you wouldn't know that. It's really rude. Not only are these people criticising me for what I'm doing, they are calling my child inadequate. What makes people think it's okay to say mean things to others?

This is why I never commented at my 28 week appointment about measuring small because I hate arrogant and ignorant comments. But since everything is fine, I figured I'd come out with what has been going on in little baby Bumble B's world this past month!