I Slept On The Rabbi

Hahaha no I didn't, just kidding ;)

I thought about all of your comments, the ones that agreed with me and disagreed with me & I slept on it.

So this will be my conclusion post and (may be) all I will say about it (you know, unless something new comes out or someone makes a comment I have to write about). I actually felt kinda bad for being so mean to the rabbi. I was fired up, and I hate being mean to people. Christopher told me not to, but of course I do. And before you say "what makes her think she's so awesome that the rabbi read HER blog?!" just know that I emailed him the link...

So anyways, here is my slept-on-it-not-so-mad response.

My marriage isn't all about sex. My husband and I can enjoy each others' company without it. We can watch TV, play a game, or have a tickle fight like we did last night. I read him some responses I got on the last post and he said "I married you because you're Katie and I love you, and I love you even more 6 years later because you are the mother to my child." Having a child is a commitment that you both agree on taking on as a couple and should be taken as seriously as all the vows you say on that wedding day. It doesn't matter if you formula feed, breastfeed, babywear, cloth diaper, disposable diaper, bedshare, CIO, etc. Having a baby changes a lot and if any of those breaks the back of your marriage then there was something going on that should have been addresses before children were brought into the picture at all. And if my husband only wants me because of sex, then may be I would rather be divorced. You're not supposed to have sex before marriage and I'm assuming the Jewish religion is as strong about this as Christians. What did you do before you got married? Played a board game, watched a movie, made-out? If you can't stand to play monopoly one night instead of having sex than that's a much bigger issue than breastfeeding.

Someone suggested that "mere" meant "being nothing more than specified". I saw it as "not as good as" and when I looked it up, my definition was the first listed, and that's how I read it, and I stand firm behind my comment that the Rabbi needs to stop looking at women as a piece of meat for men. We're people too.

And no a wife should not neglect her husband the first 2 years, but if her husband can't give up a few extra hours here and there then he shouldn't be a father. Marriage and parenting are about sacrifices. Why should the mom and baby give up something that is so important for them but the husband not give up anything at all?

May be the Rabbi doesn't mean to sound so sexist and anti-attachment parenting, but he does. And the first article is still out there despite his 2nd "apology" (which I still claim to be just as bad as the first). It's out there for new moms to see, for pregnant women to see, women that may all be nervous about breastfeeding and their relationships.

To the Rabbi- Thanks for making an effort to apologize. However the message in both articles are still detrimental to the self-conscious new breastfeeding mother. If you are truly sorry, remove the article or at least link your apology at the end of it. Obviously everyone in the world has different opinions, and I absolutely do not agree with you at all, except that marriage to a child is absolutely important. However I think there are much better ways to fix a marriage than deny a woman and child something that is so wonderful and works so well for them just because the husband is uncomfortable. If I have to make a sacrifice, so can he. Marriage is equal, women are not subordinates.

I hope this clears up some thoughts from my readers, and I feel better writing it now that I am not so angry. ;)

Rabbi Wrote Me An Email

The Rabbi sent an email to all the people who contacted him regarding the distasteful article I blogged about last night. (PLEASE read that first hehe)

Here is what he had to say:

Dear friends,

Over the weekend our office received many emails from angry women saying I had attacked breast-feeding. One woman even said I had equated breast-feeding with adultery, which has to be one of the most flagrant acts of misrepresentation I have ever encountered.

In truth, the article they were quoting, which they said was new, was written four years ago in June, 2006. Even then it was severely misrepresented, so a few months later, in August 2006, I wrote this response below, portraying my real views on the importance of both breastfeeding and marriage.

Should the need arise, I will write an even newer response so that my views are in no way misrepresented.

Thank you.

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach

My Real Views on Breastfeeding Children

By Rabbi Shmuley Boteach

This past June (2006) I wrote a column and became the anti-Christ, which, in itself, is quite a feat for a Jewish rabbi. To be sure, in my life I have not hesitated to be controversial when the situation warranted. But to become, in the eyes of my devoted readers, the twin brother of Saddam Hussein over a straightforward article on breastfeeding was, to say the least, unexpected.

But OK, if I was wrong, I’ll admit it. True, as many of you will point out, I’ve never been wrong before. But I am, after all, human, that is, unless you’re one of my breastfeeding critics, in which case I am a bushy-bearded, one-eyed Cyclops.

But first the facts.

The column I wrote was in response to a New York Times report on the benefits of breastfeeding for babies. I noted that while no one disagrees that breastfeeding is much better for a baby than formula, as a marital counselor I had seen that in some marriages, admittedly a minority, breastfeeding could come between a husband and wife, its incessant demands serving as an impediment to romance. For many couples it meant not being able to go out on a date without the baby for months, and having the baby sleep in the matrimonial bed, with the inevitable deleterious effect on the couples’ love life. My solution: if breastfeeding created distance between you and your husband, don’t feel guilty about supplementing the breast with the bottle.

Sounds innocuous, right? But the suggestion opened the floodgates of hell. Women who admired me as a lifelong champion of women’s rights, in books like ‘Hating Women’ and ‘Kosher Sex,’ felt betrayed. They were now calling me a misogynist because, in their mind, I took the side of male chauvinists whose selfish claim on their wives’ time imperiled their children, and whose need to eroticize their wives’ breasts took precedence over the role of the breast in feeding a child.

Commentary on the article exploded all over the internet with the inevitable misquotation and misrepresentation. Suddenly, I was reading how I had dismissed breastfeeding as unsexy and destructive to marriages. Women’s breasts’ don’t belong to their husbands, was how critics castigated the article. One woman wrote a Blog saying, “Breastfeeding does not hurt marriages. Selfish fathers hurt marriages." Less charitably, one blogger claimed that I had equated breastfeeding with adultery, which is one of the stupidest things I have ever read.

My article, of course, said none of these things. So here is my real position.

Firstly, I absolutely believe that women should breastfeed. My wife has breastfed every single one of our nine children. It was good for her, it was good for the children, and it good for our marriage because it endeared my wife to me to see the extent of her devotion to our children. When we took a cross-country RV trip this summer, I told my wife repeatedly that she should avail herself, on the long daily drives, of breastfeeding our baby completely rather than giving him the occasional bottle which she had begun. I

believe that a woman’s first choice should always be to breastfeed

So why did I write my article? Because when we make breastfeeding an outright obsession, we cause harm to those families for whom the practice is a hardship. For instance, many families are absolutely dependent on a wife’s income for their basic sustenance. So a few weeks after having a baby, a mom will often be forced to return to work. She will feel extremely guilty at not being able to breastfeed during the day. Should we dig in the knife by telling her that she is harming her children? Since formula, albeit as a lesser alternative, exists, should we make her feel that quitting a necessary job must be prioritized over her rent and food money for her children? To be sure, it would be much better, of course, if she were to stay home with her baby. But for many women, that is simply not an option. And yes, I realize that she can express milk. But for many women, who are already overrun with too many job and household responsibilities, the added chore of having to express milk prior to rushing to work, after getting their other kids ready for school and making lunch, becomes the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

Then there are all the women who simply cannot breastfeed do to medical considerations. Many moms simply don’t have enough milk. And every time they read one of these article about how cruel it is not to breastfeed, they feel like inadequate mothers.

Furthermore, however much people will disagree with and condemn me, I have counseled many marriageswhere breastfeeding became an impediment to romance. We can criticize those husbands all we want for not being understanding about their children’s need to be suckled. And in those counseling sessions, I did. I made it clear to the men that love and romance is holistic, encompassing a spouse as woman, wife, and mother. But in the final analysis if a husband and wife both agree that the little time they have together is being compromised by the constantly demands of breastfeeding, then it is for them to make the choice of an alternative, without those wives being made to feel like they are horrendous moms.

In my article, I gave the example of a couple who appeared on Shalom in the Home, even though the breastfeeding aspect was not included in their on-air story. Their marriage was passionate and their attraction strong until the birth of their baby boy. This should not surprise us since a Harvard study indicates that sexual activity between a husband and wife decreases by about 74 percent in the first year after the birth of a child. What increased the loss of eroticism for this particular couple was that the mother nursed her baby constantly, so much so that the husband no longer felt he even had a place in their marital bed and moved into a spare bedroom.

When I met them the baby was already a year old. The mom told me that her sex and romantic life with her husband had atrophied because of her being constantly on-call to breastfeed. I told her that in her case, having nursed the baby for an entire year, there was nothing wrong with putting him on the bottle some of the time and that the family would be better served if the marriage was brought back from the brink. Many readers assailed me for that advice, arguing that I should have told the husband to stop being so selfish and put the interests of his children first. I would respond that the husband felt that he had done so for an entire year, but now wanted to share intimacy with his wife and felt unable to do so because the baby was always in their bed. I believe strongly that children should have their own beds and should not be sleeping with their parents. I am adamant about this advice, what hatred is shown to me for it.

In this couple’s case, the wife would nurse the baby in bed and both would fall asleep. I am, in general, a great opponent of children sleeping in the matrimonial bed because, first, it is inappropriate, and second, it prevents parents from being lovers, and a bad and loveless marriage is ultimately detrimental to the children who are a product of that marriage. Giving up breastfeeding was the right choice for this couple because the wife herself complained that she was too tired for sex since she was up most of the night feeding. She also said that she and her husband had stopped going out together on dates because she had to be back to feed the baby. In the first year after the baby’s birth, they did not go out alone together even once. When she put the baby on the bottle, her love life was restored and she and her husband were happier.

Who has the right to judge this couple, and condemn the parents for being selfish, when their only desire was to recapture the affection that had produced the baby in the first place?

While I am a staunch advocate of breastfeeding, and would not recommend the above advice for most couples, including myself, if forced to choose between a couple’s romantic life and supplementing breastfeeding with the bottle, I would advocate the bottle. Period. And I will endure the withering criticism that I have of late to stand by this advice. I am in the business of saving families and reversing the out of control American divorce rate. The best thing for children is to see their parents in love rather than the children becoming yo-yos of a divorced household, pulled between Mom and Dad every other weekend.

Even so, breastfeeding remains the correct decision for the vast majority of couples and husbands should go out of their way to support and encourage their wives in making that choice. However in a case where both spouses agree that breastfeeding has come between them, then the baby will survive perfectly well on a bottle.

I have written many times that the greatest gift a man can give his children is to love their mother, and the greatest gift a woman can give her children is to love their father. In a healthy marriage, horrible as it may sound, the relationship comes before the children. In an unhealthy marriage, the parents put the children before each other. This, as an marital counselor can tell you, simply doesn’t work. Husbands and wiveswith small children should feel no sense of guilt getting a babysitter once a week so that they can be a man and a woman on a date again. And they should try and go away at least one, and perhaps, twice a year together, even though it means leaving the children with family or friends. Marriages have needs to, and if you starve your marriage it will not survive. Period.

As for the many women who were puzzled by my advice that when they breastfeed they should do so modestly and try, even a little, to cover up, this is consistent with my advice, given in my book ‘KosherAdultery’ and elsewhere, that even after marriage husbands and wives should not parade around the bedroom naked for fear that overexposure to each other’s bodies could invite erotic boredom. Yes, the breast is an organ beautifully designed by G-d for the nurturance of a baby. But even as it becomes an infant’s milksource, it should always retain its erotic allure. Surely every woman is, and wishes to remain, attractive in every phase of life, and surely a husband who truly loves his wife will always show her how indescribably beautiful she is to him – as mother, wife, and woman.

Ummm great apology... Or NOT! HOW is a baby sleeping in bed with his parent's INAPPROPRIATE?! I'd love to hear your take on this Rabbi. I bet it is perverted and condescending and really really stupid. And YES YOU DID SAY that breastfeeding was adultery. Wait I think THIS is EXACTLY what you said-

"I make the point that infidelity is primarily a sin of omission rather than commission. It is not the bad thing you do that destroys a marriage, but all the good that you fail to do, preoccupied as you are with a sinful relationship that diverts your attention away from your spouse."

I think YOU'RE the stupid one. Don't call someone stupid for stating something you yourself wrote in your article. You're an idiot. I kinda tried to be nice in my last post, but no more. Get over yourself. Just like some women can't breastfeed, SOME women can't bottle feed. Before you go around with your "poor me my parent's are divorced" issues blaming every one for not looking at every situation, look in the mirror. You're just as bad if not worse. I would say WORSE because you are supposed to be a figure for people to look up to. You have your own TV show and apparently do marriage counseling... I feel sorry for these people. Yes marriage is SO IMPORTANT to children. I will NOT disagree with you here, but OMG IT'S SUCH A SHORT SHORT TIME that a child needs his parents like this. If you can't commit 100% to your children, if you can't handle giving up time and energy to care for them, if you can't get over your stupid chauvinistic attitude regarding your views of breastfeeding, may be you SHOULDN'T HAVE CHILDREN OR TELL PEOPLE HOW TO RAISE THEIRS. I bet I could find 10X more people and SCIENTISTS that agree with me than you. Why would ANYONE even HAVE kids if they don't want to take care of them?!

And ya know what else?! Pumping and giving a bottle is a MUCH bigger commitment than just breastfeeding. It takes a WHOLE lot longer, and if you're so worried about breasts being desexualized, then GOD FORBID you accidentally walk in on your poor wife pumping. Because guess what? She looks like a cow. And if I was doing that just for you and your needs and you all of sudden are so turned off and got mad at me, I would show you what you could do with that mere penis of yours. Would you like me to wear a head wrap while we're at it? Would only seeing my eyes be kosher enough for you?

I bet you did tell your wife to EBF the baby on a trip. Because omg what if your time was hindered because she had to pump or you had to feed the baby? And let's not get into the Mommy War that has already happened again and again. No some moms can't breastfeed, and if they feel guilty and inadequate for not breastfeeding, then that's their issue, not mine. I will continue to talk about breastfeeding because it is what's best. I'm sorry for moms who can't or don't. I don't judge them (or try REALLY hard not to) and I respect their decision to do what they are doing just as THEY should respect what I am doing.

And dear Rabbi, guess what?! The bed isn't' the only place you can have sex. When my baby is sleeping in my bed (because I get MORE sleep that way thank you very much) I have sex on the couch. Have you tried that? Couch, washing machine, kitchen counter, dining room table... You don't just have to have sex in the bed. You're so hell bent on sex this and sex that I would think you might be able to think outside the bedroom a little more.

Once again, starve your child, he will die. Starve your marriage? It can be saved. And if it can't? Issues were much bigger than breastfeeding your baby. I HIGHLY DOUBT that there is more than a handful of couples that get divorced because the mom breastfed her child for a year. That is seriously the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.

Stop using your insecurities in your marriage and childhood and perversion of breastfeeding and bashing couples for making the best decision possible for their children. Get your mind of of the gutter and stop counseling people on something you so obviously know NOTHING about. If you're really sorry for the article, remove it. Stop apologizing and then saying "BUT" and repeating the same things over and over. Don't call someone STUPID for stating something YOU SAID. You're stupid.

Please Read Part One HERE

& Part Three HERE (where I'm not as angry and sum up my feelings)

Simple Wishes Hands Free Pumping Bustier Review & Giveaway!

Y'all know I hate pumping. I remember the day I almost threw in the towel. I just came home with Austin from our 2 week stint in the NICU and I was having to pump and give him fortified bottles. He slept all the time since he was just at that point supposed to be a 36 week old fetus and was exhausted from trying to grow. He was only 5lbs. I used the Medela Symphony at the hospital the entire time Austin was in the NICU. It is the hospital grade pump and super awesome. I got a Lansinoh pump from a friend and an old Pump In Style on Craigslist. Niether was getting what the Symphony did. They were hurting me and I wasn't getting much milk. THEN Austin was awake. He was AWAKE sitting in his swing, and I had to just look at him from across the room because I was plugged into the wall. I was so distraught. It was awful.

Eventually after we were able to breastfeed and not do bottles, my deep freezer broke and I lost 200+ ounces of breast milk. I had none on hand anymore, and looking back at my pumping experiences, I decided I would never pump again and just breastfeed exclusively.

That's worked FINE for me up until this past week. You may have read my post from earlier today, I NEEDED A BREAK. I broke the pump out. I could only find one tubing, but I did it. And this time, I had this awesome Simple Wishes Pumping Bustier.

Yes it still hurt, yes it was hard, but I had my hands! Austin was fussy and I got to sit on the floor and play with him! I could pick him up and tickle him and give him kisses all the while pumping some milk for him! It was seriously awesome. I really wish I had bought one of these back when I was pumping every 3 hours. It REALLY would have made my life a lot easier and I highly doubt I would have been so stressed out!

It is simple to put on. It has this huge velcro panel in the back so you can fit it to your body, and refit it if your body changes. My breasts changed about 28973487 times at the beginning, so something adjustable and customizable is necessary. Once you have it to your size, there is a zipper in the front for easy and quick put on & take off! The fabric is really really soft and it's PINK! :) It was perfectly comfortable. There is an extender for large busted women and straps that you can take on and off.

Check out the video to see how it works, awesome instances you can use it, how easy it is, and everything else you need to know!

Sorry guys, no pics of my using it ;)

The only thing that I wish was a little different is that it was less bulky and you could just wear as a bra. You could if you wore something thick probably, and I know it HAS to be bulky for it to actually work the way it's supposed to, but I don't think I could wear it under a fitted tee. It's definitely comfortable enough, but might look funny.

I love the name. Simple Wishes. It really was a simple wish of mine to be hands free back then and be able to play with my little baby while I pumped milk for him.

You can visit Simple Wishes and get a Pumping Bustier for yourself

OR

Win one here!!!

One lucky reader will get a bustier in the size of their choice!

Mandatory entry-

Tell me what YOU would do if you were hands free while pumping!

Extra Entries-

-Follow my blog with Google Connect

-"Like" Simple Wishes' Facebook Page

-Follow Simple Wishes on Twitter

-Tweet about this giveaway (one tweet, one entry per day.)

"Play w/ baby while pumping! Win a Hands Free Pumping Bustier by @SimpleWishes_ from @BabyBumbleB! #breastfeeding http://tinyurl.com/2ffawxq"

Giveaway ends on Wednesday June 16th at 8pm! Winner will be chosen via Random.org!

Good luck!

Did You Know Breastfeeding Ruins Marriages?

At least that is what this Rabbi dude believes. He wrote an absolutely horrific sexist article on the negative impact breastfeeding has on marriages.

The entire article can be read here, but here are some specific excerpts from "Moms, Don't Forget To Feed Your Marriages" that particularly perturbed and offended me.

"...I said, her obsession (of breastfeeding her son at 11 months) had turned one of her most attractive body parts into a feeding station, an attractive cafeteria rather than a scintillating piece of flesh."

Obsession? How about primal instinct given to her from GOD to feed her child?! Is a cow obsessed? Is a cat obsessed? And scintillating piece of flesh? How about a body part that belongs to a woman. She isn't your slave. She is a person. And breastfeeding at 11 months is horrific to him. The AAP says to breastfeed until 12 months, WHO says until 2 at LEAST. 11 months is not unnatural or unheard of. What an amazing mom.

"...I make the point that infidelity is primarily a sin of omission rather than commission. It is not the bad thing you do that destroys a marriage, but all the good that you fail to do, preoccupied as you are with a sinful relationship that diverts your attention away from your spouse. "

Breastfeeding makes Christopher jealous sometimes. Jealous that he can't feed his son, NOT that his son is using my breasts. I am NOT cheating on my husband and our marital sexual relationship by feeding my son, and if you think I am, you are DISGUSTING and should PROBABLY speak to someone about this.

"I am surprised that when scientists discuss all the benefits of breast-feeding, they neglect its most negative consequence. If breast-feeding gets in the way of the marriage........the child will probably end up worse off, however many colds or bouts with diarrhea he now avoids."

Diarrhea? Colds? I think you might be referring to Rotavirus and Pertussis which kills hundreds of babies a year. No, breastfeeding may not be THE answer to a lot of these cases, but I bet it is for some. I think you'd rather your wife feed your child the way God intended it than saying a prayer to Him at your baby's funeral.

"I would take the diarrhea and cough any day over the permanent sense of brokenness that affects children of divorce."

I think the guilt of the knowledge that you could have possibly saved your child's life by not being an arrogant selfish chauvinistic pig would break your marriage worse than letting your wife use HER breasts to do what they were predestined to do...

"In the end, there are two effects of breast-feeding that we often refuse to acknowledge. One is the de-eroticization of a woman's body, as her husband witnesses one of the most attractive parts of her body serving a utilitarian rather than romantic purpose."

Ummmm... A utilitarian? Last time I checked my breasts were made to produce milk. They have these super cool things called glands that MAKE MILK (how amazing, really) and awesome things called nipples that fit ever so perfectly into a baby's mouth that have DUCTS in it for milk to come out of. Wow. Dang right it's utilitarian.

"I believe that wives should cover up, even when they nurse their babies in their husband's presence."

No words.

"I believe this same problem comes up when men witness childbirth up close..... That is just too erotic a part of a wife's anatomy for it to become a mere birth canal."

Okay, so unfortunately I was not able to have a normal child birth and push Austin out of my MERE BIRTH CANAL. But this still offends me. Do you even have the brain capacity to realize the huge amount of work that a woman goes through for TEN MONTHS to grow a baby and the sheer labor (hence the term LABOR) to bring him into the world? That is NOT MERE. This is BEYOND sexist. Sometimes I can take the whole breast=sex thing with rolled eyes and an ignorance plea, but SERIOUSLY? Not this one. Mere? I wish that this rabbi could for one SECOND feel the absolute sheer pain, stress, emotion, EVERYTHING that goes into birthing a baby. Mere. You have GOT to be kidding me! I'm so annoyed by this statement. I didn't get to use my MERE birth canal for birthing my baby and yes I am disappointed. I didn't get to do what a woman is supposed to do. I thank God every day that my son is here safe and sound and that cesareans are possible in this day and age, but yes if I could have chosen the end, I would have used my mere birth canal at 40, 42 weeks. Don't call it mere. Mere. What if I called your penis MERE? Because all it's there for is to get pleasure, right? You aren't supposed to use it to rid your body of toxins. No, that's so mere. You get yours, but the female race will just sit back and be your mere play thing. (I never realized what a feminist I am...)

"I agree that breast-feeding is usually the best thing for a baby. But the principal form of marital breakdown in our time is a loss of erotic desire between husband and wife, and if couples find that breast-feeding is adding to a sense of alienation, there is always the bottle."

Usually? No, it IS the best. And no you don't agree that breastfeeding is best for baby. Because if you did, you would be behind it 100%. I understand that marriage should be the first concern and children second. I get that. I don't always follow it, but you know what? My baby is an innocent little being that can not fend for himself. In a couple of years, I'm all yours hubby. But until my child can make himself a bowl of cereal or a PB&J, I'm all he has. And I will feed him and I will put his needs at the top of my list. You're a big boy Rabbi. You can stop being selfish for a total of 2 years for your children. You say that a healthy marriage is the most important thing for your children? I totally agree. But you know what else is important? Learning to not be judgmental, to not be selfish, to SHARE. I bet you teach your children to share their toys don't you? Then share the boobs dude. The boobs that don't even belong to you.

Someone on Twitter suggested we send positive feedback to the rabbi. I didn't sent him the above rant, but I did let him know how I felt.

I am sorry you have such a poor outlook on breastfeeding and marriage. My husband respects me MORE as woman for the way that I am nurturing our FAMILY by feeding my son the way that GOD intended. He knows that this is a short short time and my son will only need my breasts for a year, possibly two. He will have me the rest of our lives. Breastfeeding is represented MANY times in the Bible (old testament...) and is a wonderful pure act. It saddens me that there are men (and women) in this world that are hung up on breasts being sexual only. If a marriage fails due to breastfeeding, there are obviously underlying issues that occurred before the baby was even born and somehow have been manifested in breastfeeding and blame given to the woman doing what her body is predestined to do. I know you said you'd rather have diarrhea than be divorced, but would you rather your children die than have an unhealthy marriage? Marriages can be rebuilt, but a baby can not be resurrected. I assume you are referring to Rotavirus which kills many babies a year and could be prevented a hundred times over by exclusively breastfeeding. I would imagine the pain and guilt of my child dying from a disease that I may have been able to prevent would cause a much heavier burden on my marriage than letting my baby borrow my breasts a few times a day for two years. I pray that one day no one is so judgmental about the natural and nonsexual way women are feeding their children.

I have never been such a feminist before, but he disgusts me with this! Women are not mens' little sexual play things, and that is what he is "preaching" in this article. He acts like he is in such a higher class than women and children. Like we should bow to him and do what he wants us to do. My husband was even disgusted by this guy. Why is he so selfish and sexist? Is he that sex obsessed? I honestly can not wrap my head around this man's thinking.

I am so upset and disappointed in people sometimes it just has made me angry. I am sorry if this post was too ranty for you, but thankfully I have an outlet for my feelings and a place to shout to women that breastfeeding is NOT BAD! I wish people would realize that it is perfect and wonderful and to stop being so RUDE. It also hurts my feelings because when people make negative comments about breastfeeding I feel like they are making direct negative comments to me and about my baby. And do NOT mess with me, and especially my baby!

*I am in no way shape of form judging families who formula feed. I know there are situations where this is necessary, and situations when women are BOOBY TRAPPED into believing it's wrong or too hard and don't have the necessary outlets for help or information. This article is exactly why so many woman don't breastfeed and it needs to be stopped.

Please Read Part Two HERE (Where the Rabbi "apologizes")

& Part Three HERE (where I'm not so angry & summarize my feelings)

For The Preggos: Things No One Tells You About Breastfeeding

I am not a breastfeeding expert at all. But when I was in the hospital after having Austin, there were things I came across that I had NEVER EVER heard of. It was an all new territory for me. I was scared and embarrassed, and thankfully I had a couple of friends who helped and Twitter for any other questions and I learned a few things!!!

I decided to make a list of things that never occurred to me and may not occur to you either ;) Hopefully you won't feel as silly as I did.

1. When your milk comes in... HOLY PAMELA ANDERSON. Wow. Seriously. Geez. HUGE, rock hard, and painful. But they go away. In a couple of days you will look a little less Heidi Montag.

2. At the beginning there will be milk E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E. And that smell? That's spoiled milk. No this concept never even DAWNED on me. I thought that sour nasty smell on my nursing tank was the lanolin. But alas, no, it was spoiled milk that was leaking or left over from pumping. Bring nursing pads to the hospital. Trust me.

3. If your baby is in the NICU and you are having to pump, be prepared to pump A LOT. Like, more than every 3 hours. When you sit there for 20 hours a day, those crying babies will seriously increase your supply. Austin has every one of those babies in that special care nursery to thank for his freezer stash (RIP freezer stash.)

4. RIP freezer stash? Yeah. Check your deep freezer. @CrunchyNurse on Twitter told me they have an alarm thermometer thingy in theirs so when it gets above a certain temp it alarms. Genius. Wish I new about it before I lost 200oz+.

5. When your milk comes in and you're dying from the pain? It's totally normal and it goes away. I didn't know that. I had no idea I would get engorged and my boobs would fill up like that and I would hurt so bad. I thought I was getting mastitis and I FREAKED OUT.

6. When you're hurting and engorged and the baby and/or pump are doing you no good, get in the warm shower and hand express and massage. It's fab.

7. If you're pumping, make sure the flanges (those thingies that cover your boobs) are big enough. (TMI warning for the family members and men that made it this far). When I had Austin my nipples were huge. When I pumped they would swell up like 70X their size. I was using the regular Medela flanges that are 24mm or whatever and I was crying in pain. Nothing was coming out. I wasn't getting any milk at all. I watched and my nipples were filling the whole flange and milk couldn't come out because my ducts were stretched out on the inside against the plastic (that makes no sense, I'm sorry, but I don't know how to explain it). So I asked for a bigger size and it took awhile so I finially resorted to hand expression. I had to hand express for like a day or 2 (which doesn't SOUND like a long time, but it is) until I got bigger flanges. I actually ended up with the XLs. Once Austin was a month old they weren't so big anymore and I moved down to a L. I could probably fit in the Regular or Medium now.

8. Don't buy a nursing bra yet. Just get some tanks. Your boobs are going to be 25 different sizes until your supply evens out. When babe is like a month old, then you can buy some expensive bras (or not. I don't have one.). (this is just my opinion. some people won't agree with this. but if you're on a tight budget, seriously, save your $).

9. Washable nursing pads (once you get home obviously) are your best friends. Check out bamboobies.com. Those boxes of disposables go FASTTTT. Washable ones can be washed daily with your tanks and bras because you're going to be washing those a lot too ;)

10. If gets easier. I promise. It's so so so so hard at the beginning. Baby might nurse for an hour and have bad latch issues and you have to latch baby yourself. You'll dream of days where baby just latches on and you don't have to do anything. It'll get there before you know it. I PROMISE. Just get through.

11. Letdown is the term for when you're starting to nurse, pump, or leak (at the most inopportune time). The milk will just start flowing. It will like squirt across the room LOL. I had no idea this had a name. And sometimes newborns won't be able to nurse through it because the flow is just too fast. When I started nursing Austin (finally, after he was a month old) if he got choked and it was too fast, I just took a burp cloth or wash cloth and held it on my boob for a minute or so until the flow slowed. Austin used to just lick like I was a lollipop because it just poured out haha! Now he has no issues with it, but sometimes he'll pull off and he'll get sprayed. It's pretty funny.

12. Got the baby blues? Exhausted? Need a laugh? Squirt your husband. It's great.

Those are just a few things I didn't know and would have loved to had a smidge of knowledge about when I had Austin. I hope may be someone learned something ;)

The Nursing In Public War

Excuse me for a second. Gotta grab my soapbox...

K I'm back. Here we go.

I nurse Austin in public. If he's hungry, he's going to eat.

There are tons of people on Twitter that will say "OMG this woman is breastfeeding her baby in public SO GROSS" or "go in the bathroom!" or "at least cover with a blanket!" or other similar ignorant comments. Just yesterday, may be the day before, a blogger from Better Homes and Gardens wrote a post on the 10 Commandments on Taking Kids Out To Eat and one of them was "Thou shalt not breastfeed at the table." She then continued on by saying "if at all possible, go to the ladies room." The editor removed the breastfeeding commandment after 1000 of us bombarded her with comments, and she apologized. (Natalie however, copied and pasted the entire article on her blog. You can read it here, and I do not take responsibility for her language bahahaha). I even had one of Christopher's friends tell me I couldn't feed Austin in public, covering me with a napkin. His girlfriend had more breast showing than I did. Facebook continually deletes pictures of mothers breastfeeding and suspends numerous accounts for it.

Really.

1. Breasts were made for babies. Breasts make milk. That milk is to feed babies so that they grow and HOPEFULLY not turn out to be rude and ignorant. End of story.

2. You can't tell that I am feeding Austin. If you can tell, you're looking way too hard, and you have a problem, and need to stop staring. If you have a problem with my breastfeeding in public, then DON'T LOOK. Don't want to see my boobs? DON'T LOOK. Turn your head, continue on with your dinner and let my baby enjoy his without your eyes buring holes into the back of his head.

3. Pull up Facebook. Pull up People.com. Drive down the interstate and look at the billboards. I bet you ONE MILLION IMAGINARY INTERNET DOLLARS that there will be more cleavage shown than you can EVER see on a breastfeeding mother. I also bet you that you will see pictures of woman in bikinis that barely cover their orifices. But DEAR GOD feeding a baby with NO SKIN showing is so absolutely offensive.

This is completely acceptable.

And this absolutely not?

America- You are over-sexed. Get your head out of the gutter and stop looking at boobs on the internet and stop looking at mine.

4. Jesus was breastfed. Moses was breastfed by a wet nurse. There are thousands of images & sculptures of Mary nursing Him, and even a couple with a saint nursing from her as well (I think that is supposed to be metaphorical). So she MUST have breastfed in public, right?! This painting hands in the VAITCAN. I mean, how much more public can you get?

Look at fat breastfed baby Jesus lolol so chunky ;)

And check this out. You'd never know she was breastfeeding if little Jesus wasn't being so mischievous, looking around... Boys are so easily distracted... ;) BTW nice nursing top Virgin Mary! I bet she didn't have to pay an arm and a leg for that at Motherhood either...

There are numerous references to breastfeeding in the Bible. This website is a very interesting read if you are in the mood!

5. I would like for you to take your plate, go to the bathroom, sit down on the floor, put the plate on the toilet seat, and eat your meal. Oh and look, the person who used this toilet before you sprinkled on the seat. Someone in the stall next to you had bad Taco Bell last night and someone on the other side is pregnant and experiencing her morning sickness in the evening. YUMMY! Sounds appetizing right?! Bathrooms are made for stool, urine, and vomit. It is not a place to eat. I would never expect you to eat in a bathroom and you should never expect my baby to either.

6. I don't use a cover. I don't like them. They're too hot and they're SUCH a pain. They get in the way and I can't see the baby, and honestly, I think I've shown more using one than not. Some babies WON'T nurse with a cover on. Austin doesn't really care because he is his father's son and will eat anywhere and anything (EXCEPT a toilet, I won't have it ;)), but I don't like it. If you want to use one, that's fine, if you're more comfortable doing it that way, but I'm just not. I have covered up before (like I've explained before, in front of teen boys at church, etc) but that's it.

7. Would you rather hear my screaming hungry baby? Or may be something like this is better?

8. I am protected by law. Most states have a law protecting breastfeeding mothers, stating breastfeeding is legal wherever mother and baby are allowed to be. And if you say I can't, you're breaking the law. I don't think there is anything else that I need to say about that.

Most comments I see are from men who have the wrong impression of breasts (for sex only) or young ignorant teens/young adults. I know because I was there once, and thankfully I changed. We need to make sure that breastfeeding in public is done more. It obviously isn't seen as the norm, and it is absolutely 100% the normal way to feed a baby! It is the way that God intended it! Women's bodies automatically do it no matter what. Nothing is wrong with it, and we need to re-normalize it so that I shouldn't have to make up words like "lact-haters", much less they exist ;)

Anyone need to borrow this soap box? I think I'm done...

The Wonderful Things About Boobies

**WARNING- This post is about boobies. It will be about the wonderful nature of boobies, awesome things I have learned about them, and may be a story or two about mine. So, if you don't want to read about boobies or are my dad, you probably just want to skip this one. If you read it and you're offended then you're stupid and I warned you and I probably don't want you here anyways ;)

Boobies. I never thought much about boobs. I never had boobs. I always wanted boobs so I'd fit into my tops better, but my husband is a butt man, so it was never a total issue anyways.

Then I got pregnant. Holy boobies. I loved my pregnant boobies. They were giganormous. Man I miss those boobies. Because THOSE boobies left my current boobies covered in stretch marks and not-so-perky. Thanks pregnant boobies. Those 7 months were fun. I'll always remember you. RIP.

Through this whole breastfeeding experience I have learned a lot about boobs. Did you know that your milk in the morning is like COFFEE for babies?! It has SOMETHING in it that wakes the baby up and your night milk has SOMETHING in it that puts them to sleep. So if you're pumping you should label your bags, trays, bottles, whatever, with the time so you don't give baby a cappuccino at 11pm.

Something I learned in my booby club the other day really interested me and I shared it with the Twitter world and got tons of responses. I was talking about those Milkie thingies that catch leaking milk and you collect it and put it in the freezer for your stash. Well y'all know I HATE pumping with a PASSION so I was like "Heck yeah I'm getting me some of those and I'll never have to pump. In a week I could definitely make enough for a bottle or two for Christopher to have while I go see a movie." Well then I got to thinking, that milk will just be foremilk, no fat, will give Austin a tummy ache and make for some green poop. So I thought oh well, nice thought. BUT THEN my LC told me that if I do a breast massage (See dad, I told you, stop reading) before nursing it'll mix the hind and fore milk. The hind milk sticks to the ducts and the "skinny" milk comes out first because it's thinner obviously and then the hind milks comes when the baby is working on it. SO COOL RIGHT?!?! So I need some milkies and a breast massage. Takers?

Austin is now reaching for me. I thought I noticed it a couple times but wasn't sure. Then Christopher mentioned it, so I knew he must be doing it. And then, my suspicions were confirmed. As I lay a screaming hungry tired baby on the bed and get the girls out, Austin rolls to his side, stretches his arms all the way out, grabs me, closes his eyes and opens his mouth. Like a bird. So this is the new norm. I get felt up by the baby every time he comes close to the boobies. Like Christopher wasn't enough...

And in case you don't believe me, see for yourself. Just trying to take a cute family photo one night...

I love how his face is blurred. It's like he spotted the boobies and whipped his head around as fast as he could.

Or this one is a gem...

All jokes aside (may be) nothing is sweeter than a little nursling. What a soft sweet serene face he makes... My absolute favorite thing is when he looks up at me and smiles and tries to keep nursing but can't because his smile is just too big. What a wonderful experience. I will never forget it!

Did anyone do a boobie count? How many times did I say it? 6th graders every where would be proud. Although, no 6th grader should be reading this. Never mind.

Baby Bond Review and Giveaway!

As you may have read before, I was a "lact-hater" (yes I made that up. Brilliant, right?!). I thought it was so inappropriate for women to nurse in public. I was so so so stupid. I'm embarrassed to say the least. I chalk it up to being 17, 18, and stupid. I wasn't even sure if I would breastfeed when I got pregnant, but thank the LORD my mind set drastically changed and I will say that breastfeeding Austin has been the BEST decision I have ever ever made.

I have NO qualms about breastfeeding in public. I'm a nursing-in-public ninja, and no one will ever see anything. I just wear a nursing tank under a shirt and lift the shirt and all that shows it what Austin is over. So, really, nothing shows. I don't cover up because it is HOT. I hate it. And honestly it brings more attention. I think it's fine for moms that want to cover, I just don't.

However, there has been a time at church that I wore a loooong dress. We had a spaghetti dinner afterwards in the fellowship hall and once I was done eating, Austin was ready for HIS lunch as well. I brought a receiving blanket with me to cover since I would have to nurse over the dress and I wasn't comfortable letting my boob hang out in front of father-in-law (HI!), the teenage boys, and the whole church family. OMG It was a PAIN. It was falling, I was about to drop Austin, it was so hot. It was not fun and I did not enjoy it.

Then just recently I came across Baby Bond. I LOVE their "mission statement"

BabyBond™ nursing accessories cover mom, not her baby. Mom is able to maintain her modesty. Baby remains uncovered benefiting from the infinite opportunity to make eye contact, interact, and communicate. After all, dining is social.

How cool is that? I never thought of eating like that. It IS a social event, and why should a baby be excluded? Basically it wraps around mom and just opens a little for you to poke through and baby to eat.

Baby Bond send me a Couture Baby Bond. There are 3 types, the Original, Flex, and Couture. The Couture is different than the other two in the way that you can also use it as a belly band to cover you stomach when you lift your shirt and nurse, creating the illusion of the way I nurse with a tank top.

When I opened it I was SO SURPRISED on how LIGHT it is! It's a really thin but sturdy fabric, which is fab because it won't make you hot AT ALL, which is a major plus here in Charleston. It's SO HOT! The instructions on how to "work" it are on a tag on the wrap, so if you forget and you're out with a screaming hungry baby, it is easy to refresh your memory on how to use it. And since it's so thin and light, it will roll up so tiny in your diaper bag and really take up NO ROOM. It'll even fold into itself!

I got the Couture in Hudson (black), but I kinda wish I got Riviera... But the Hudson will match my dresses that I'll have to nurse over the top in. ;)

aaaaah isn't he getting so big?! His butt used to sit in that left hand when I nursed him...

BTW the fabulous ladies at Baby Bond informed me that I have the cover on wrong... With the cover on my left shoulder he should be nursing from the right. Totally makes more sense. Oops. Check the pics on their website to see what it's supposed to look like haahahaha. But y'all know from my Bambino "MUAH" blooper I'm usually one to show you how to NOT do something!!!!

Head on over to BabyBond and buy a cover for yourself!

Baby Bumble B readers get 25% until June 5th with the code "bumble"!

OR

WIN one on Baby Bumble B!

Mandatory entry-

-Like Baby Bond on Facebook

Extra Entries (leave a separate comment for each entry please!)-

-Tell me what color & style you'd get!

-Follow me on Google Connect (3 extra entries! 3 separate comments!))

-Follow Baby Bond on Twitter

-Tweet about this giveaway (one entry per day!)

"Cover mom, NOT baby! Win a @BabyBond nursing cover from @BabyBumbleB! #breastfeeding #bfcafe #bfing http://tinyurl.com/34c28kn"

-Tell me how cute Austin is!

-Don't forget your extra entries if you RSVPed before the event began!

Good Luck! Winner will be chosen via Random.org. Giveaway ends Wednesday May 26th at 6pm EST!

I was given a Baby Bond nursing cover to review and keep. I was not compensated for this review. These opinions are honest and my own.

The Power Of Twitter

Some people say "I don't GET Twitter." I thank Twitter every single day for the major support I have received. I know for a FACT I wouldn't be breastfeeding today if it weren't for Twitter, amongst other things.

I have found this new world of women, moms, on Twitter. Breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, co-sleeping moms. They have helped me so tremendously. I really owe A LOT to them.

I almost quit breastfeeding when I finally came home from the hospital with Austin. I was having to EP (exclusively pump) because I was still giving him fortified breast milk in the bottle. I was stressed being home with him by myself, I had a new non-hospital grade pump, I was exhausted, I was everything a new mommy is, plus so so scared not being dependant on a nurse or monitor to tell me how the baby was.

I was SO mad at the pump. I was plugged into the wall, it was hurting, Austin was awake (something he wasn't much at the beginning) and I couldn't play with him, and my supply was zilch. My mom said that she and my dad thought I should just stop, I was too upset and my being depressed wasn't worth it. I tweeted that I was going to just quit.

I had dozens and dozens of moms write me. They tweeted me, they commented my blog, they hunted down my email and emailed me. They reminded me it's never easy at first, breastmilk is the most nutritious meal for my baby, and once I got to breastfeed and get off that awful pump, all of my hard work would be worth it. I was amazed by the empowering support I got from women I didn't even know. I kept pumping, and that night when Austin was still hungry after his bottle, I nursed him and I realized they were all right. It was the most amazing experience and I would do anything to breastfeed my boy, even if it meant pumping for a few more weeks.

Breastfeeding isn't easy, especially at the beginning. It's scary and difficult. Is the baby getting enough? Is he gaining weight? Should I supplement? Every question I had was answered. I was getting to weigh Austin weekly at Best Fed Baby at Trident hospital, he seemed content after each meal, and no I should not supplement or my supply will never catch up to my baby. I had a lot of frustration with my shield the lactation consultant gave me, and women on Twitter supported me by saying "this too shall pass", reminding me it wouldn't be forever, and offering their horror stories. It was nice to know I wasn't the only one in the world!

Not only have I learned a ton, but I gained the confidence through twitter alone to NIP (nurse in public). WITHOUT those covers. Those covers a pain in the butt. I don't like to use them. I have no problem feeding my son in public. It's a baby eating its food. If you have a problem seeing breasts in public, then you should relearn the uses of the breast. I always wear a nursing tank top under my shirts. I just raise my shirt and lower the little part on the tank top. Austin's head is right in front at all times, and I'm about 99% sure no one has ever been able to see anything, even if they were staring. Christopher didn't even KNOW I was feeding Austin multiple times. People have no idea. You only bring attention to yourself when you try to hide it. If you LIKE the covers that's one thing, that's fine. But I don't. So I won't use it! I did at first to gain some confidence, and then through listening to women on Twitter talk about NIP, I realized I had nothing to hide! I feel very liberated!

There is an amazing site I have linked here about Booby Traps. I had no one help me breastfeed. I had an LC (lactation consultant) and Twitter. I had some friends who breastfed, but it wasn't really on my top list of things to talk about. I just became very confident in my nursing. Best For Baby has an amazing site about the Booby Traps we face, trying to make NIP NORMAL like it SHOULD be, and giving breastfeeding a makeover! If you are pregnant PLEASE read this! It will help you make that amazing important decision about breastfeeding!

I swore I'd never ever sleep with my baby. I was sure I'd roll over and squish him. But I am coming out of the co-sleeping closet. I am a co-sleeper, and I am proud. I have done some research, and did you know, more babies die alone in their crib than any baby in bed with mom and dad. The only family bed deaths basically are when the parents are intoxicated, unaware, or the bed is not safe (excess pillows, blankets, etc). I have an Arm's Reach Co-sleeper and Austin sleeps in there and in the bed with me. He sleeps better, I sleep better, it's easier to breastfeed in the middle of the night... Babies weren't designed to sleep alone. They stop breathing and their heart rhythms change throughout the night in slumber. There is a hormonal connection between a mother and her breastfed baby that connect the breaths and helps baby learn to breathe, and if the baby is in any type of distress, the mother will wake up. It's amazing how God works. CIO (crying it out) has now been proven to lower serotonin levels which is being linked to SIDS, as well as brain damage. Why in the world you would leave a NEWBORN that knows NOTHING other than "mom" or "no mom" is beyond me. When a baby is older I can see putting him down and making him learn on his own, but a NEWBORN?! They don't understand! They are scared and alone, and you're just making it worse.

I found these articles and support through the Twitter world as well. If I didn't tweet that desperate plea about NEVER getting sleep and being up and down all night long with Austin in a standard bassinet, I would have probably pulled all of my hair out. I got a lot of researched information, proven facts, and quiet nights.

Babies Are Not Designed To Sleep Alone

Dangers of Leaving A Baby To Cry It Out

Where Should Babies Sleep At Night

10 Reasons To Sleep By Your Child

Tons more articles HERE

Thanks to @drmomma for the great blog with amazing articles!

I also have gotten spades of cloth diapering tips, tricks, and help from Twitter. I've talked to the creator of Bumgenius herself (@bumgenius, @cottonbabies) and she has taken the time to help me personally with some questions I was having! She even talked to me today about a question I had! I've even had moms GIVE me diapers from Twitter! I've now gotten two other moms to start cloth diapering their newborns born around the time Austin was. They love it, which they should because it's awesome. (Hi @mommurray & rigatormom!). I found my current AMAZING detergent through Twitter (@RockinGreenSoap), won a Banana Bottoms diaper through Twitter (@bananabottoms) and a diaper sprayer from @TheCDReport.

I learned about a very very special little baby girl named Cora. She was born a few days after Austin. I remembered reading her mom's tweets about her birth while I was pumping in the hospital for Austin. One night @kristinebrite wrote the Tweet no one should EVER have to write. Her little baby girl passed away at 5 days old. Kristine later found out that Cora had a Congenital Heart Defect, the #1 birth defect. #1 birth defect? Bet you didn't know that. Neither did I. And 50% of those cases can be caught with a simple teeny tiny pulse ox test. You know, those annoying things the nurses do 12987209834 times on your finger while you're in the hospital? Yeah, those. They don't do them on our babies. And our babies go home with undetected heart defects. PLEASE visit Kristine and Cora's blog. Kristine is doing the most AMAZING job in raising awareness.

I'm going to give a shout out to everyone who has helped me. It's a lot and KNOW I am going to miss someone. I'm sorry & I love YOU the most ;)

@hautesinglemama, @keepemcookin, @TheCDReport, @that_danielle, @NewMomJD, @thebluemoongirl, @SylkoZakur, @CrunchyNurse, @3kiddosunder4, @mommatokmhs, @ashhan123, @holleeinbalance, @myniftynappy, @cottonbabies, @bumgenius, @heartsandhandss, @jdruit, @AppleCheeksDipe, @fentonslee, @wonderkarin, @pattiliciouz, @mandyw526, @earth_mommy, @flwrbtt, @moshermama, @clairelouise2, @marfmom, @havenlilliana, @twomomsandababy, @soapsuds, @mamacavy, @angeliotum, @rigatormom, @mommurray, @radicalactivist, @tryitmom, @induetime, @thehappyhours, @MeMo07, @sbeecreations, @posielove, @andyparas, @esteelavitt, @ilovemonty, @granolamom, @naptimemama, @thechattymomma, @kerisma, @bananabottoms, @butifulmess, @carfreemama, @danielleb1221, @robinpregnancy, @theecochic, @rockingreensoap, @spiffybex, @dragondream, @bambimomio, @mylarose24, @smilyg, @rgnaturalbabies,

Ugh and I can only get to February 7th in my replies. I would actually pay real life money to know the girls that tweeted my not to quit pumping the day I wanted to quit!

Not only have I gotten great help I've won tons of stuff :) I've met amazing people who I cal true friends!

The Kind Of Mommy I Am

When I decided what kind of mom I wanted to be, I just listed off things I like. I like to hold my baby, I like cloth diapers, I think slings are cool, and breastfeeding is really cheap.

I love holding Austin. I tried a year and a half to get pregnant with him, lost 2 babies, feared my entire pregnancy that I would lose him, had to leave him in the Level 2 NICU for 2 weeks... Why in the WORLD would I ever put him down? You can't spoil a newborn right?!
Consider Austin the most spoiled rotten little cutie you have ever seen in your life... But I don't care. I spoiled him and I will continue to. He's going to be 40 weeks this week, he's allowed to be born now, so may be I'll stop carrying him since my uterus isn't supposed to be anymore! Or may be I'll just keep waiting for Christopher to get home to shower and brush my teeth ;)

I love cloth diapers. They are cheap. They are super duper cute. I don't know why everyone doesn't use them... Throw them in the washing machine at dinner, hang them up to dry over night... Done... So easy. It's not like I'm doing anything but holding Austin all day anyways! I have time for one extra load of laundry every 1-2 days!

I love slings. I hate those stupid bulky heavy infant carriers. I love holding my baby (as discussed above...) so my Baby K'Tan sling is perfect. It keeps my little man snuggled up to me and keeps us both pretty warm! It's so easy in the store and I can cover his face so that he doesn't get germs. People don't ask to hold him when he's in it, and if they were to and I didn't want them to, I could say "sorry it's really hard to get him in and out" (which it is kinda) (BTW this is for back when he was really early and I was more afraid of germies than I am now!). There are a few other baby carriers out there that I long for, but for now my Baby K'Tan is perfect!

Here I go, I will admit it... I did NOT want to breastfeed. I thought it was weird. I thought something sucking on my breasts was going to be odd and strange. I decided halfway through my pregnancy that I would give it a try. Why in the world would I turn something down without trying, especially since it is FREE?! I went to a breastfeeding class and BAM I was sold. Watching those little babies nurse was so heart warming and gave me fuzzy wuzzys! When I had Austin and he was in the NICU pumping was all I could do for him. That was the only thing that I had that I could give him that no one else in that place could and it made me feel so incredibly special and like FINALLY I was helping him. When I look down and he's all droopy eyed, falling asleep, so content... My heart melts. I don't know what it is about it, but I really love it. Plus it's cheap, and I now weigh 10 pounds less than my prepregnancy weight, and I chalk it all up to breastfeeding!

So far everything I had hoped and wished for has worked out for us really well! There are labels I could use (attachment parenting, crunchy, etc) but instead I'd like to just be Katie, Austin's mommy!

In Bumble B news,
Austin is getting so big. He smiles and he squeals when he's excited. He squeals at me and Christopher when we're playing with him and tickling him and being silly, and he squeals at his seahorse. It's so so funny! He's a pretty happy baby. I wish more of his awake time was during the day and less the middle of the night. I feel bad for making him go to sleep or leaving him awake and going to sleep when he's wide awake, but what can ya do?

His eyes are getting bluer (I hope they stay!), he's smiling with gorgeous dimples, he has the most beautiful skin, he's picking his head up and turning it, he's grasping things, and his fingernails grow faster than anything I've ever seen!

Here is Austin talking to Mr. Fussels :)

Happy New Year!

2010 is here! I hope everyone had a really great new year. We rang in midnight at home in bed. Christopher was snoozing away and Austin gave me my midnight kiss after he was done eating. I celebrated on Twitter with all my Twitter gals!

Last Monday the doctor told us we could start breastfeeding and only do a couple fortified bottles a day. Last Wednesday (the day before Christmas Eve) we went to see the lactation consultant at the hospital and she got us on track. I eventually got on a schedule where Austin was getting a fortified bottle in the morning and in the evening. I was really scared that he would lose weight and I was very very anxious for this past Wednesday. I took him to the Best Fed Baby support group at the hospital to have him weighed. On December 22nd he was 5 pounds 11 ounces. The pediatrician said she would like to see him gain an ounce a day. So at the Best Fed Baby I was looking for 6 pounds 2 ounces. I really didn't think he would have done it. I saw a change in him overnight during his last growth spurt. I didn't see much change this week. Once we got little man on the scale, he proved to me to never underestimate him! He weighed in at a whopping 6 pounds 3 ounces! I am so proud of him! He is obviously getting enough to eat and not burning too many calories doing so! So now we are down to a bottle at night that his daddy gets to feed him and I pump. I'll go again next week to make sure he's gaining what he still needs to be!

I'm also looking to make my first big cloth diaper purchase. Cottonbabies has Bumgenious buy 5 get 1 free. Hopefully I can scoop some up before the offer is up! I really want to try Flips as well.The initial purchase is so much but I can't wait to start. I hate disposables. And half the time I change Austin and 2 minutes later I have to again! The Flips with just the changable inserts would be so awesome for times like those! Austin's butt is getting a lot bigger so it's almost time for him to start! I have some birthday and Christmas money that I hope to use on them very soon!

Austin wakes up ever 2-3 hours to eat. I am so so tired. We nap until 10ish usually in the morning. Yesterday we went to Target to get some wipes and things. I was exhausted! Getting him ready, everything ready, me ready, shopping with him, it's all very tiring. My sister in law could never stay home. She was always on the go. I have no clue how she did this. Going to Target has made me miserable for 2 days! Thinking about it- I haven't slept for more than 3 hours at a time in a month. That is so crazy to think about. I'm surprised I am functioning at all! But I suppose you get used to it!

I love being Austin's mommy. He is so amazing. He is so funny. He's starting to talk and smile. When he's on his belly he is lifting his head and turning it the other way. He LOVES his little seahorse friend my mom gave him for Christmas. We named him Mr. Fussels because that is what I call Austin when he fusses.