I Took A Nap

I took a nap yesterday. I baby nap. Austin is 6 months old and I have never been without him. I mean, I've gone to Target and BRU after he went to sleep and was home with Christopher for an hour or so, but never really left him. You know, except for 2 weeks numerous times a day in the NICU... But that's another story all together...

Yesterday after church Christopher, Austin, my mom & dad, and I were having lunch at Los Arcos. My OCD was giving me a hard time. I was sitting on the booth with his carrier to the left of me instead of the right of me and all of sudden I had an overwhelming feeling of anxiety and panic. Then Austin was getting mad because I was eating chips and salsa without him. He wanted some too. So I got him some rice and let him eat a little while we waited for the food. All the while he's jsut WHINING. Then I switched sides with the carrier and sat to the left of it and put Austin in it and felt 100X better. He finally quit whining and I didn't feel off anymore.

But then he started screaming. And it was happy screaming. Like hear my cool high pitch loud voice yall! kinda screaming. It was cute, we were all laughing, but seriously, we were at a restaurant, and I'm sure it wasn't funny to anyone else trying to enjoy their lunch, and the sound of his voice was like nails on a chalkboard at this moment. So I tried to give him more rice and then he got mad. He started fussing again. Christopher had already walked him around a little and at this point my dad was finished with his food. He took Austin for a walk around the restaurant.

Then I started crying. Christopher didn't understand what my problem was. I said to him "You know how you need Chris time sometimes? I HAVEN'T HAD KATIE TIME IN 7 MONTHS! HOW WOULD THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?!" I think he may have gotten it. Then he wanted to know why I was being mean to him. I said "I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just trying to put it in a way for you to be able to understand how I am feeling and why I am so overwhelmed." My mom said "Why don't you let daddy take you to a movie and Christopher and I will watch Austin."

Girl, she didn't have to say it twice. Within an hour or two my dad and I were in the truck on the way to the movie theatre. I only had 3 ounces of pumped milk in the freezer (which was a PAIN IN THE BUTT to get! I remember now why I stopped pumping months ago...) and was SO DESPERATE to get away I told Christopher where the emergency can of soy formula was in the cabinet. I didn't even feel that guilty about it. I texted Nicole and Joanna and asked them to reassure me that it was fine, and of course they did. I nursed Austin before I left and handed him over to Christopher and left.

What did I end up seeing? Sex And The City 2. With my dad. LOL! He said he'd rather have needles shoved under my nails, but I don't think he wanted me to go by myself. I wouldn't have minded, but it was funny. I'm sure he looked like my sugar daddy, which was kinda weird, but who cares.

(Spoiler Alert)- When Charlotte was in the closet crying because she was baby-overwhelmed I almost started crying. That was the exact reason I was in that theatre! I was so overwhelmed! And when they were on vaca she had some liquid courage and explained how much she loved her girls and how hard she tried to get them here, but said "They're driving me crazy!" haha I laughed so hard. I felt for her.

When the movie was over I couldn't wait to see my baby. I called Christopher and let him know we were on the way home and my baby was LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY in the background. WHAT!?!? I'm glad he had a great time, but a part of me really wanted him to be upset the whole time missing me. Stupid, I know. But I guess we both needed a break. He was so happy to see me and I was so happy to see him. When he fought bedtime last night I didn't get frustrated. I just continued singing him his lullabies.

I felt like I took a good nap. Like I hadn't slept in 7 months and I had a recharging nap. I've always told moms that that's obviously good for them, happy mommy=happy baby, but until you live it, you don't know the guilt you feel. So Austin and I both had a great time and we both were so happy to see each other. He never needed the formula and he drank the 3 ounces of breast milk from a sippy cup in about 60 seconds, according to Christopher. He konked out by the time we got home and I nursed his sleeping self while getting snuggles.

We both survived. And now I feel a little less apprehensive about leaving him. The only reason I don't want to is because pumping was such a pain in the butt and I hate it so much. But I have a date with my friend Erin to see Eclipse at the midnight opening in a couple of weeks, so I need to hook this baby up for his daddy again.

I realize mommy time is important. I had a great time and honestly I didn't obsess about him the entire movie. I needed a girl's night out, even if it was with my dad on a Sunday afternoon. I had great company and the girl's night ended up being Samantha, Charlotte, Miranda, and Carrie (who I could just kill to get that wardrobe....)

BBQ, Banana Pudding, & Baby Deer

I hope every one had a great Memorial Day weekend!

Of course I would like to thank all of the men and women who gave ALL for our country. Can you even imagine where we would all be if it weren't for the amazing brave soldiers that have served our country?! Secondly, I'd like to thank all active and inactive service members for their sacrifices they have made for us as well. Thanks to my brother in law Matt, both of my grandfathers, my father-in-law, my BFF's husband James, my cousins Jay, Michael, and Wesley, and many many friends who have given their time at some point (and still are!) for our country!!!! I wish that everyone was as thankful as y'all deserve.

We celebrated this weekend at Santee State Park with our favorite camping buddies! Christopher, Austin, my mom, Kea (her dog), Becky, Kevin, W and N (their boys, 5 & 3, that I do not have permission to post their names yet lol), Carolyn and C (who is 9).

Friday night we went up to Lonestar. Y'all have no idea how fabulous this place is. It's in these old old stores and is some of the best BBQ ever. They have tons of antiques for sale and on display. There was a Bluegrass festival this weekend so it was PACKED, but that just meant great music and and even bigger assortment of food than normal. I'm a picky eater, but I love this place. I piled my plate with ribs, BBQ, chicken, macaroni and cheese, rice, green beans, watermelon, pickles, and OMG the BEST banana pudding EVER on the face of the EARTH.

Austin enjoyed some green beans, watermelon, and banana pudding (which I kind of regret... Pudding has milk doesn't it?). He loved it and it was evident in his diaper...

Saturday we just relaxed and enjoyed the day. Christopher, Austin, and I took a walk... I took a nap with Austin... Christopher took a nap with Austin... We walked to the lake and put our toes in... We hung out around the pool... Relaxed on the hammock... Made smores (well, I let Kevin and C make my 2)... Ate junk all day... Hung out around the campfire (which Austin was AMAZED by!)... Attempted a shower with baby (all of you Twitter folk that says that's easy? You're lying)... Played games with the boys... Rode bikes...

ooooooooooo fiiiiirrrrreeeee

The pool. Pretty much the smartest most amazing idea ever for camping with small children.

Relaxing (?) on the hammock

This morning we all lounged around and ate breakfast, then it started thundering and looking very dark so we all scurried around as fast as we could to pack up before it started to rain. Sure enough as soon as we packed the very last thing, the sun broke through the clouds... Austin was extra cranky (being out of his element, not able to get good naps, it was hot, I was too lazy to entertain him, etc) so I stuck him in the Beco and he finallyyyyy crashed. I stuck him in the car seat while we finished up, still in carrier, because I was not wakin' his butt up for anything!

All in all it was a great trip. There were a couple of hiccups, like last night I had some dark twisty dreams. I hate that. And Friday on our way to Lonestar we were in our caravan. Becky, Kevin, and their boys were in the front, then Carolyn and C in their car, and then we were holding up the back. All of a sudden we see Becky stop in the road, and then pull to the side. Carolyn stops in the middle of the road, and so I stopped behind her. Kevin gets out of the van and walks to the opposite side of the road and leans down and touches something. I thought it was a huge snake, but why in the world would he be touching a gigantic snake? My mom thought it was a bird, and then it came into focus and Christopher jumped out. It was an hours-old baby deer. It was just laying on the side of the road. I was heartbroken thinking it was hit. All of a sudden it jumped up, ran into Christopher because it was not stable on its little spindly legs at all, and ran into the woods. I jumped out of the car because I wanted to grab him. He was all alone! What happened to his mom?! We should take him to the park ranger is what I was thinking. Carolyn said to leave him and she went on her way, but I just couldn't. Christopher and I tried to find the baby, but by then he was perfectly camouflaged in the nature, and we would have never found him. I was so so so so sad. Then we got the full story at dinner. Becky said she saw the mom standing there with the baby. When they came around the corner the baby collapsed and the mom took off across the street and into the woods. Becky couldn't leave the baby on the side of the road. It's a busy-ish road and people go wayyyyy too fast. Kevin was going to try to pick him up and take him to the other side and into the woods a little where his mom went but he was worried that if he touched him the mom wouldn't want anything to do with him anymore. Then the fawn got up and ran away to opposite direction of the mom. Carolyn said that when danger comes the mom deer will run away and the baby will just collapse and not move or make noise since he blends with the enviroment and the mom will find him. If I had known all of this (that the mom was present at one point, we didn't see her at the back of the caravan, and that this is deer instinct) I wouldn't have spent 3 minutes looking for him, possibly scaring him farther away.

This was Friday night. It is now Monday night and I am STILL heartbroken. I really really really really hope that the mom found her baby. What if she didn't?! She'll be so so so sad and that baby would never make it. This morning Christopher told me they were probably enjoying milk and berries right at that moment and I needed to stop worrying. Or that may be the mom was a bad mom deer and went and got crack and a opossum and wise-cracking owl found the baby and are raising it.

If anything, he'll always keep me laughing.

So that was the adventures of the weekend. Someone tell me that the mom found her baby... Anyone know anything about deer?!?!

The winner of the Pooters pocket diaper is Jenn and the winner of the $10 Pooters gift certificate is Janelle! Congrats y'all!!!

Also, please email your questions for me to answer! Ask me anything that you have been curious about or something really really funny like Natalie and Beth have done. This vlog will be full of laughs! :)

Christopher's First Vlog!

Here is Christopher's first vlog. It went so well until the very end....

Remember to email me your questions! Ask me anything! Natalie already sent me some really funny ones. I'm going to answer them all in a vlog wearing a hot pink wig. So send in your craziest questions, and some real ones too ;)

katie[at]babybumble[dot]com

Guest Post!!

I told Christopher that he could guest blog. This is what he said ;)

He's the cutest man even though he has little tiny fingers. He has the sweetest kisses even on his cheeks. He's going to be a basketball superstar as soon as I stretch these legs out. If any ladies see these toes or this face or these hands beware you'll fall in love really quick. And I just want to snuggle all day long, but I have to support the family and work all day long because mommy likes to type words. Bye we love all y'all, Austin and I are going to sleep on the recliner. SEE YA!

Thanks dad. That was magic. ;)

My Rock

As I touched on a tiny bit in the last post, I am a bit of a FREAK OUT.

I tend to FREAK OUT. A lot.

Thankfully, I have a husband who really never freaks out.

Christopher usually comes with me to doctor's appointments and always comes with me to my ultrasounds. He's been really really busy with work lately which has him putting in 15 hour days. So sometimes I don't get to see him as muchas I'd love, and this week he couldn't make my appointments.

As I was sitting in the waiting room waiting for my US results, I was almost in tears. I was absolutely certain something was wrong. I've had such a hard time dealing with my two miscarriages and it's hard to imagine this baby working out sometimes. So I got a glimpse of the possibility that something could have been wrong with my baby Bumble B and I was a WRECK.

I texted Christopher a couple times while I was waiting. He was busy and couldn't really talk. Once I was out of that office with good news and fresh air I had a small texty-chat with my husband. I told him "I don't care if you get FIRED! You are going with me to things like this. You CANNOT miss these things. I can not deal without you." (which in turn I received a smiley. I boasted him up for a little bit I guess).

If Christopher had been there I would have been much calmer, or at least had someone to talk to so my mind wouldn't wander.

A few weeks ago I had a chicken caesar wrap from Chic-Fil-A. I won't go into the gruesome details, but the lunch did not end well for me or my car. As I drove home to clean up I called Christopher twice. He didn't answer so I texted him and said "Call me". He responds with "I'm in a meeting" and I write back "PLEASE". By the time I see he's calling I start bawling. He sounds so concerned and asks what's wrong. When I responded tearfully and hysterically with "I threw up everywhere all over myself" I am really expecting a "Babe seriously? I'm sorry, but I'm busy, it's okay."

Instead he is so so concerned and tells me how sorry he is and talks to me half way home. He asked if I needed him to come home and truly felt bad. Then my hormones took over and I started crying about how stressed I was and how tired I was of him working all the time and how much I missed him and it went on from there. When I decided I was halfway okay I told him bye. He said he'd keep talking to me if I needed him to. So I did.

He's a good husband. Even when I want to strangle him or press his hidden mute and pause button (I have yet to find that thing!) he's at least being sweet.