Bed Bug

I have a bed bug. He's approximately 15 pounds and stinkin cute.

I started Austin out in the bassinet when he first came home. Finally after wanting to jump off of my roof from lack of sleep and getting up and down and up and down to pat him to sleep I gave in and stuck him in the bed next to me.

I've talked about the benefits and actual LACK of risks with cosleeping before so I won't go into that here. But you can read that post here.

Honestly I don't LOVE cosleeping. I like to sprawl out. BUT getting more sleep a night? I like that a lot more. Every time I wake up I check him to make sure he's breathing (but I do that when he's in his bassinet anyways). Usually he starts out in the bassinet and when he wakes up to eat I lay him in the bed with me and he nurses while we both sleep. It's great. I look back and remember days when I got up, had to make him a bottle, rock him back to sleep, OMG how did I EVER survive?! That was AWFUL.

Anyways, the nights are pretty much cemented in. It works for us. Christopher doesn't mind and sometimes he sleeps in Austin's room on the futon when he has to get up really really early. I don't know how I feel about that. I mean, the bed is OUR bed. I believe a little bit in the sanctity of the married bed, but at the same time, when he's in there, I get to sprawl out like I want and Austin gets my whole side to himself. Christopher doesn't sleep in there unless he WANTS to, usually on nights he's overly tired and has to get up at like 3:30 instead of 4:30. I know this won't be forever and I'm torn about how I feel when Christopher goes to the other room. It feels wrong but it's so nice :) When we put Austin in his crib Christopher and I both hate it. He's too far away (we're absolutely ridiculous, I know). And besides, until Austin is sleeping through the night, his butt is staying in the room with me because I like sleep and I'm not messing it up for anything.

However, naps have been a fight. He usually sleeps 15 minutes here, 15 minutes there. He fights sleep and screams and kicks and drives me bonkers. I've been holding him, putting him in his swing, putting him in the crib, same thing every time.

But my friends, this is about to take a turn for the crazy attachment parenting turn (and AP is something I swore I'd never do...). I put his little butt in my bed yesterday and nursed him and laid down with him for a little while until he fell asleep. He slept like an hour, and then THREE HOURS. He was laughing bubbly all day, didn't throw ONE FIT. NO TEARS ALL DAY. Today?! We just took a nap. I slept 2 hours and he's still in there, working on hour number 4.

So I guess I'm giving in. Austin is my bed bug. I was fighting this and was in total denial, but it has happened. But honestly? He's only a baby once. I love cuddling him for hours. If the worse thing I have to worry about is his love of snuggling with his mommy, I'm doing good. He won't be in my bed forever. We both get more sleep and we're both 100X happier during awake hours. Christopher doesn't get to see him all day and cherishes the time we all lay in the bed and play and read and cuddle and fall asleep. It's working for our family so great, but for some reason I feel guilty and weird about it. Almost embarrassed? I live in such a conservative area, "attachment parenting" is scoffed at. I'm not hard core into it at all, I'm like Beth calls "light AP". And why do I care what other people think anyways? It's a balance I'm sill trying to learn. My #1 priority should be and IS my family.

So fine. We're cosleepers. We have a family bed. I usually love it. It works for OUR family. And Austin napped for 4 hours today. In yo face. ;)

The Power Of Twitter

Some people say "I don't GET Twitter." I thank Twitter every single day for the major support I have received. I know for a FACT I wouldn't be breastfeeding today if it weren't for Twitter, amongst other things.

I have found this new world of women, moms, on Twitter. Breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, co-sleeping moms. They have helped me so tremendously. I really owe A LOT to them.

I almost quit breastfeeding when I finally came home from the hospital with Austin. I was having to EP (exclusively pump) because I was still giving him fortified breast milk in the bottle. I was stressed being home with him by myself, I had a new non-hospital grade pump, I was exhausted, I was everything a new mommy is, plus so so scared not being dependant on a nurse or monitor to tell me how the baby was.

I was SO mad at the pump. I was plugged into the wall, it was hurting, Austin was awake (something he wasn't much at the beginning) and I couldn't play with him, and my supply was zilch. My mom said that she and my dad thought I should just stop, I was too upset and my being depressed wasn't worth it. I tweeted that I was going to just quit.

I had dozens and dozens of moms write me. They tweeted me, they commented my blog, they hunted down my email and emailed me. They reminded me it's never easy at first, breastmilk is the most nutritious meal for my baby, and once I got to breastfeed and get off that awful pump, all of my hard work would be worth it. I was amazed by the empowering support I got from women I didn't even know. I kept pumping, and that night when Austin was still hungry after his bottle, I nursed him and I realized they were all right. It was the most amazing experience and I would do anything to breastfeed my boy, even if it meant pumping for a few more weeks.

Breastfeeding isn't easy, especially at the beginning. It's scary and difficult. Is the baby getting enough? Is he gaining weight? Should I supplement? Every question I had was answered. I was getting to weigh Austin weekly at Best Fed Baby at Trident hospital, he seemed content after each meal, and no I should not supplement or my supply will never catch up to my baby. I had a lot of frustration with my shield the lactation consultant gave me, and women on Twitter supported me by saying "this too shall pass", reminding me it wouldn't be forever, and offering their horror stories. It was nice to know I wasn't the only one in the world!

Not only have I learned a ton, but I gained the confidence through twitter alone to NIP (nurse in public). WITHOUT those covers. Those covers a pain in the butt. I don't like to use them. I have no problem feeding my son in public. It's a baby eating its food. If you have a problem seeing breasts in public, then you should relearn the uses of the breast. I always wear a nursing tank top under my shirts. I just raise my shirt and lower the little part on the tank top. Austin's head is right in front at all times, and I'm about 99% sure no one has ever been able to see anything, even if they were staring. Christopher didn't even KNOW I was feeding Austin multiple times. People have no idea. You only bring attention to yourself when you try to hide it. If you LIKE the covers that's one thing, that's fine. But I don't. So I won't use it! I did at first to gain some confidence, and then through listening to women on Twitter talk about NIP, I realized I had nothing to hide! I feel very liberated!

There is an amazing site I have linked here about Booby Traps. I had no one help me breastfeed. I had an LC (lactation consultant) and Twitter. I had some friends who breastfed, but it wasn't really on my top list of things to talk about. I just became very confident in my nursing. Best For Baby has an amazing site about the Booby Traps we face, trying to make NIP NORMAL like it SHOULD be, and giving breastfeeding a makeover! If you are pregnant PLEASE read this! It will help you make that amazing important decision about breastfeeding!

I swore I'd never ever sleep with my baby. I was sure I'd roll over and squish him. But I am coming out of the co-sleeping closet. I am a co-sleeper, and I am proud. I have done some research, and did you know, more babies die alone in their crib than any baby in bed with mom and dad. The only family bed deaths basically are when the parents are intoxicated, unaware, or the bed is not safe (excess pillows, blankets, etc). I have an Arm's Reach Co-sleeper and Austin sleeps in there and in the bed with me. He sleeps better, I sleep better, it's easier to breastfeed in the middle of the night... Babies weren't designed to sleep alone. They stop breathing and their heart rhythms change throughout the night in slumber. There is a hormonal connection between a mother and her breastfed baby that connect the breaths and helps baby learn to breathe, and if the baby is in any type of distress, the mother will wake up. It's amazing how God works. CIO (crying it out) has now been proven to lower serotonin levels which is being linked to SIDS, as well as brain damage. Why in the world you would leave a NEWBORN that knows NOTHING other than "mom" or "no mom" is beyond me. When a baby is older I can see putting him down and making him learn on his own, but a NEWBORN?! They don't understand! They are scared and alone, and you're just making it worse.

I found these articles and support through the Twitter world as well. If I didn't tweet that desperate plea about NEVER getting sleep and being up and down all night long with Austin in a standard bassinet, I would have probably pulled all of my hair out. I got a lot of researched information, proven facts, and quiet nights.

Babies Are Not Designed To Sleep Alone

Dangers of Leaving A Baby To Cry It Out

Where Should Babies Sleep At Night

10 Reasons To Sleep By Your Child

Tons more articles HERE

Thanks to @drmomma for the great blog with amazing articles!

I also have gotten spades of cloth diapering tips, tricks, and help from Twitter. I've talked to the creator of Bumgenius herself (@bumgenius, @cottonbabies) and she has taken the time to help me personally with some questions I was having! She even talked to me today about a question I had! I've even had moms GIVE me diapers from Twitter! I've now gotten two other moms to start cloth diapering their newborns born around the time Austin was. They love it, which they should because it's awesome. (Hi @mommurray & rigatormom!). I found my current AMAZING detergent through Twitter (@RockinGreenSoap), won a Banana Bottoms diaper through Twitter (@bananabottoms) and a diaper sprayer from @TheCDReport.

I learned about a very very special little baby girl named Cora. She was born a few days after Austin. I remembered reading her mom's tweets about her birth while I was pumping in the hospital for Austin. One night @kristinebrite wrote the Tweet no one should EVER have to write. Her little baby girl passed away at 5 days old. Kristine later found out that Cora had a Congenital Heart Defect, the #1 birth defect. #1 birth defect? Bet you didn't know that. Neither did I. And 50% of those cases can be caught with a simple teeny tiny pulse ox test. You know, those annoying things the nurses do 12987209834 times on your finger while you're in the hospital? Yeah, those. They don't do them on our babies. And our babies go home with undetected heart defects. PLEASE visit Kristine and Cora's blog. Kristine is doing the most AMAZING job in raising awareness.

I'm going to give a shout out to everyone who has helped me. It's a lot and KNOW I am going to miss someone. I'm sorry & I love YOU the most ;)

@hautesinglemama, @keepemcookin, @TheCDReport, @that_danielle, @NewMomJD, @thebluemoongirl, @SylkoZakur, @CrunchyNurse, @3kiddosunder4, @mommatokmhs, @ashhan123, @holleeinbalance, @myniftynappy, @cottonbabies, @bumgenius, @heartsandhandss, @jdruit, @AppleCheeksDipe, @fentonslee, @wonderkarin, @pattiliciouz, @mandyw526, @earth_mommy, @flwrbtt, @moshermama, @clairelouise2, @marfmom, @havenlilliana, @twomomsandababy, @soapsuds, @mamacavy, @angeliotum, @rigatormom, @mommurray, @radicalactivist, @tryitmom, @induetime, @thehappyhours, @MeMo07, @sbeecreations, @posielove, @andyparas, @esteelavitt, @ilovemonty, @granolamom, @naptimemama, @thechattymomma, @kerisma, @bananabottoms, @butifulmess, @carfreemama, @danielleb1221, @robinpregnancy, @theecochic, @rockingreensoap, @spiffybex, @dragondream, @bambimomio, @mylarose24, @smilyg, @rgnaturalbabies,

Ugh and I can only get to February 7th in my replies. I would actually pay real life money to know the girls that tweeted my not to quit pumping the day I wanted to quit!

Not only have I gotten great help I've won tons of stuff :) I've met amazing people who I cal true friends!